It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time again. This is my submission.
These are the next few lines to one of my (as yet untitled) works in progress. I have extended the sentence count to nine for this snippet.
#8sunday May 17 , 2015 Scott’s Story 7
The space port was modest. A single storey thermablock shell less than a klick long. The landscape was bleak. A series of deeply crested red dunes dwarfed the dull grey hangars. The ground hops parked along the walls looked like so many mechanical insects, all neatly lined up. She was met at the counter by a grey-suited corporate.
“Citizen Orida, I am Aurice,” her grey eyes and steel grey hair were offset against starkly black skin. “I have been tasked with taking you to the Facility and settling you in. I will ensure your immediate needs have been met.”
The previous 8 sentence snippets of this story can be found here.
If you enjoyed reading this, please, let me know. Your comments or impressions are very welcome. Alternatively, click on the ‘like’ button below.
To see what the other Weekend Writing Warriors have submitted, click on the link below.
Whimsy 
Terrific use of visual description, you made it very real for the reader.
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Love how you used the details to establish the mood. “Ground hops” was a great term…can’t wait to see where this goes from here.
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Sparse but vivid details. I don’t know what’s happening yet, but I know that being a fly on this wall…. is likely to get me killed in the decontamination process.
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Scary world you’ve created. I feel so hum drum with my tales of life as we live it. I so appreciate and relish the coldness of the corporate drone. Gives me the shivers.
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I like the austere feel of the short choppy sentences, they set off the description nicely. Doesn’t sound like the most friendly place!
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Very visual, I like your use of color. And “immediate needs” with the implied “and nothing more!” really adds to the cozy feel of the place.
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Talk about corporate drones! 🙂 I wonder if Orida will find any warmth on this world . . .
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Outstanding worldbuilding, Kim! I liked the futuristic/alien terminology, and the descriptions put me right into the scene. Nicely done!
No post for me this week. Just making my rounds and seeing what’s new in the stories. Have a good week. 🙂
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Thank you Teresa and thank you for visiting. Hope you have an awesome week.
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Fantastic descriptive passage! I felt like I was right there.
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I particularly like the ground hops, lined up like insects.
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Grey hangers, grey eyes and hair against red dunes. I see it.
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