Friday, September 20, 2013

Here I am!

Here I am!
I took some time off from blogging to focus on my schooling. I still have about 8 weeks left of school, then I will be done with my B.S. in Psychology. In the mean time,  have some very exciting news. I have started a new career that I have been wanting to do for about 4 years now. I recently announced my website Fylicity Life Coaching. It is an exciting time for me right now, and I will be able to start doing what I am very passionate about, helping others. I hope you are able to stop by my website or even LIKE my Facebook page. I have also been asked to write an article for a women's magazine regarding parenting. I will be sure to let you know when it is published so you can all check it out.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

How to Take Time for Yourself


Here is another published article that I have written for Cerebral Palsy Family Network.org. I hope you enjoy it and find it helpful. 
Respite care. How many parents really take advantage of this short-term break from caring for a family member with cerebral palsy? As a single mother, I was offered this many times, but never took advantage of it. My main concern was who would stay with my daughter with CP and could I trust them. My family is not able to help me with my daughter, so I have to depend on outside care for help.
With the demands of the world, you find that your plate gets too full and your shoulders begin to ache from all of the stress. Taking one evening, one day, or one weekend can help with that stress. I try to take one weekend every couple of months and do something for myself. I have a caregiver that stays with my daughter at my house for the weekend, and I plan time away.
Recently, I have found a little remote lodge and retreat in a country side location in Idaho about two hours away from my home. I rented a cabin with my own screened in porch and personal hot tub. This was located directly next to a creek in a beautiful area full of trees and peacefulness. Now you do not have to go to the extreme of traveling far away or going to an expensive retreat. Maybe plan a weekend with a friend and go sightseeing, or stay in a nice hotel suite and catch a movie. Anything that you can do that does not require you to have any responsibilities of taking care of anyone else but yourself is the whole point of respite care.
Once when I took one of my weekends away, I signed up for a watercolor painting class in a mountain location. The drive there was beautiful and the fresh mountain air was relaxing. I came back home relaxed and excited about learning something new. Finding a craft or a hobby can help with decreasing any stress that one may feel. Finding that one thing that you truly enjoy will help put a smile on your face and take the stress out of your body.
What makes you happy? What are some of the things that you like to do that help you to relax? Are there any hobbies or crafts that you have always wanted to try, but have just never found the time to do? Take that respite care time and relax. Taking care of yourself is important, because you want to be able to be healthy so you can be around to take care of your special someone with cerebral palsy. Be happy. Make it fun.
 Denise 


Monday, April 1, 2013

Americans with Disabilities

Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)


 I wanted to write about something that would help everyone. Today’s subject that begins with the letter “A” is the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). According to the United States of Department of Labor (2013), the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibits anyone to discriminate against people who have disabilities in employment, transportation, public accommodation, communications, and governmental activities.

ADA has their own website where you can find all the information that you are looking for from new or proposed regulations, status reports, technical assistance programs, and the ADA information line. You can even sign up for email updates to be sent to you when there is new ADA information available.
You can never be over informed about your rights. If you know of anyone who is having difficulties with being discriminated because of their disabilities, give them this information so they can contact ADA for help.

Happy Blogging ~ Denise

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

When Raising a Special Needs Child, Keep it Fun!


I recently was published on Cerebral Palsy Family Network and I am so excited to be able to share it with all of you. Here is a Link to the website so you can check it out in person. Please enjoy!
When someone becomes a new parent, having a healthy and happy child is the first thing on their mind. Being a parent of a child with cerebral palsy can sometimes make a parent question themselves or their abilities to raise someone with special needs. I know when I became a parent at the age of 21, I thought maybe I had done something wrong in my life to be given a child with cerebral palsy. It was not until a stranger told me that I was not being punished, but I was actually chosen to be this special child’s parent because I was also the special one. I was going to be the rock for this child and help them become the best that they could be. Looking at my baby at that time, I saw no disabilities; I only saw her love for me.

Appreciate the Little Things in Life

My daughter has taught me to appreciate the little things in life. Many parents take for granted the different skills that a child learns as they develop, such as putting on their socks, or brushing their teeth. In my house, if my daughter learns a new thing, we celebrate with a happy dance with a lot of hooting and hollering. It takes a lot for someone who has cerebral palsy, depending on the case, to learn a new task or skill.
Currently, I am trying to get my daughter to stay in her own bed all night long. Now mind you, she is very cute coming into my room in the middle of the night with her little doll in her arm and her pillow in the other saying, “Mommy, I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?” That is just so precious. I need to be strong and put her back into her room and be stern with her, because a good habit is much easier for her to learn than a bad habit is to break.

Make It Fun

When trying to teach your child with cerebral palsy a new skill or task, make it fun for them. Create a calendar with a box full of stickers that they can pick from when they reach their goals. Go shopping together to pick out the calendar or the materials to make a calendar. Let them pick out the different stickers that they will be using to put on their special calendar. This will be a great treat for them and this will help them become even more excited to reach their goals.
In our house, my daughter can put a sticker on the calendar when she goes potty on the toilet, when she brushes her teeth and when she stays in her own bed all night. After so many stickers, she can choose from a list of prizes, such as going shopping for a new doll or new clothes. Everyone likes to have something to look forward to, and it can be exciting and fun for everyone in the family. Make it fun and enjoy the little things in life.

Friday, February 22, 2013

It's the WEEKEND!

This is Dani's favorite time of the week - the weekend. She knows that she can sleep in (with mom of course) and "just be a bum". Dani had a good day, but we did have to come to an agreement about what she was going to wear today because she had her mind set on the striped shirt (she loves stripes) we got her when we went to the Oregon Coast for a vacation. This shirt she had picked out had shrunk a bit and would be considered more of a mid-drift showing shirt...not appropriate. 
So we compromised  and agreed that she were another shirt underneath the striped shirt. That way we both win...yeah! I am sure that sometimes the people that work with her wonder why I send her in clothes that do not fit, but Dani picks these out and has her mind set on them and sometimes compromising is better than fighting and being late to work. 
See you have to remember that even though Dani is 23 years old, she is still a toddler mentally. Don't you remember how toddlers love to wear strange combinations of clothes? They love to experiment and this develops into their own personality. 
Dani does not have full use of her right hand and arm because of the brain damage. Because of this I have to help her get dressed in the mornings after changing her attends. I put her shoes on, brush her hair and put it in a pony tail and brush her teeth. We do this everyday. She is not always happy about it everyday...but, we get through it one way or another. This part of being a parent - and I try to make it fun with her. When I know she is starting to be grumpy about something, I change the subject to something I know she likes or I make funny noises to make her laugh. This helps get through the morning routines, but that does not mean the "good mood" will stay with us for the whole morning....but we pray it does. Tell me some of your morning routines you do with your specials ones in your life who have special needs? We can compare notes and even help with suggestions for each other. 

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Motherhood

Being a parent of a child with Cerebral Palsy is not always full of rainbows and unicorns, but it is rewarding. To see my daughter learn something new and actually remember it with pride, brings joy to my heart. Her smile beams and she gets so excited when she does something new. I have been her mother for 23 years years now, getting very close to number 24 and she still calls me mommy and plays peek-a-boo with me. Miss Dani is my pride and joy, my sorrow, and sometimes my frustrating all rapped up in a four foot 150 pound determined little girl. I am creating this blog with the suggestion of a friend. Though it is brand new and still has not been completely set up, I wanted to get it rolling. This blog is for all those parents out there who are raising these wonderful children who are always full of so much joy and happiness. They love to smile and hug, sing and dance. Even though they some may not be able to walk, talk or even take care of themselves, they are selfless. They just want to be happy and they want you to be happy. Please join me on this journey of my precious moments. I welcome all parents and anyone connected with someone who has cerebral palsy or any other disability. I hope you enjoy my stories and I encourage you to share yours with me. I welcome one and all.

~ Denise