Zeke

I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done this morning....I had to make the decision to let our sweet old Zeke go.....he could barely walk anymore....he was hurting so bad. I just believe he is young and free again and waiting for me to get there someday......I LOVE YOU, ZEKE.

Work in Progress....but ok with that...quit judging me...

More judgment and drama.....well, here goes.....read the next status and you will understand how we do things around here....not that we should have to explain, but just to set the record straight... Gordon and I are good parents. We are not PERFECT parents, but we love our kids and let them make decisions for themselves pretty much. We guide them the best we know how....give them advice(unwanted sometimes...lol!)....and we let them make the choices they decide to make. They are not little kids anymore. They are old enough to deal with the consequences of their choices....whether good or bad. They WILL mess up at times. We WILL be there for them...loving them NO MATTER WHAT!!! We will NOT throw their mistakes in their faces or say ' I told you so'....I used to be a domineering, overbearing, bitch of a mom. Not anymore....I have a good relationship with my kids and they know they can talk to me and trust me with anything. I will not ride their asses about dumb stuff anymore. NO ONE wants someone to always be nagging at them....life is short and every moment counts. ....if my kids drink in high school, then they know to call me for a ride. They will NOT get in trouble for it. They are kids....the only trouble they will get in is if they DON'T call me for a ride...lol! I will not be a grieving mom because my kids were afraid to call! I will not be a mom that my kids are afraid of. .....I wish I could take back the past mistakes I made, but I cannot....but I won't make those same mistakes again.... I am a Christian....I love Jesus....He died for me and He did it even tho He knew who I was and the mistakes I would make. I am a people loving person who loves God. I am not just Republican or Democrat. I agree with gay rights....people should not be treated wrong just because they make a different choice than we would. I am for women's rights to make decisions about their own body. I do not agre e that abortion is right, but I don't think we have a right in this FREE nation to play God to them. It should be their choice...just like God gave us all a free will.....besides, it is between them and God anyway. Let us quit trying to control and play God. (no more rants...lol!) By the way, if this affects how you feel about me, that is fine. I won't play up to get friends.....I know who my friends are....

Devastation...sadness.....

We have had our grandbaby for a while now....his mom(our daughter) and dad have been looking for a place to live for a while now and staying with his sister while they work nights. Yesterday they came over to see the baby and take him to a hospital appt. Her husband got angry with her and we called him on it. We said if he wanted to stay with us he had to keep his anger in check. He took the baby and stomped off down the street. He says we cannot see him anymore....our daughter is torn...she is too scared to leave his abusive ass.....so she chose him over the well being of the baby. Same old abusive woman thing to do....I went thru an abusive relationship....years ago. I chose to leave....I hid at a women's shelter....I know what she feels like to a certain degree. I am devasted and sad that our little sweetie is with that man.....our daughter is making excuses for him.... ....I will trust God for our little one's safety....but right now.....I am in shock and sobbings.....God, it hurts............

Busy, busy....

It has been one busy week already and it is only Tuesday...YIKES!!! I had my BIG grocery run yesterday....I get the flatbed cart at Sam's and off we go....had to buy Zeke a new bed....his got left outside and it rained on it....we bought him a super thick wonderful memory foam...he has some hip dysplasia and arthritis in his back and legs so he LOVES this!! Our daughter and I ended up doing a girl's day out for the day and she asked me if Zeke liked his bed....he sleeps in our room. Then she looks over at him and he is laying on it....I guess so, she says...lol! I love that they make these memory foam beds for dogs....especially for our senior dogs...they need that for their joints.... Today we go to MSP airport to pick up our son flying in from Charlotte...long drive there....picking up a new couch on the way home from the airport.... Tomorrow, someone comes to pick up the couch that we sold to them so we have room for the new one..... Thursday, we are driving 3+ hours to pick up our grandbaby....he is staying with us for a while and we LOVE that!!! Friday....I go pick up some new toys we bought for him and Sweetheart has the weekend off...that will be nice! We had my daddy over for his 92nd birthday on Sunday....we had black forest cake and ice cream...and we watched the NASCAR race......doesn't he look GREAT for 92?!

Well, onto other things today...gotta get moving...blessings to all!!

Change....

I want some change...I am not even sure what I want TO change.....I am 41 years old. Is this what they mean by a mid-life crisis? I love my husband and family...that I do NOT want to change, but I need some inspiration.... ...I feel stuck in a rut....it may be due to the fact that Sweetheart and I are unable to go off alone for any legitimate length of time....or that we have taken over the care of our grandson for the time being....I just don't know....I don't feel particularly depressed....I am just being honest and real right now.... Zeke, our 14 year old lab, is having trouble with one of his back legs working correctly...it tends to give out occasionally and we have to help him get up. He is on meds. That saddens me...he is a joy to my heart...he climbs the stairs and loves his walks....acts like a pup at times. Now I am off to finish some supper stuff and clean up....;)

I am back....

Wow! Time has passed....6 months. The last post I had on here was about how I was getting help with my depression...here I am....much better....taking medication...and functioning again. If you are a Facebook friend, you know what I am talking about. I have been on there A LOT....lol! But the joy is returning... ...we have a lot going on right now too. One doctor told me to avoid stress at all costs.....that is funny, considering what is all going on.....we have our grandson for the time being right now. He will be a year old next month on the 30th. I am feeling the difference of having a baby at home again...MY baby just turned 17 on Friday so it has definitely been a while since we have had a baby around regularly. Our daughter and her husband are struggling to make smart decisions. It hurts to watch this happen. They are both out of a job, kicked out of their home, and out of money. We have taken in our grandson, their son.....he needs stability right now. Avoid stress, they say? HA! I know with Jesus' help, all will be fine and things will work out. I just need to remember that....

Sometimes Life Is Tough

Ok, I have started a new post many times now....it is time to get this baby posted!
We have been so busy. And yet I wish even more busy. I have been struggling with some winter blues....I am going to see a doctor on Monday. I had struggled with depression 15-20 years ago or so and now I feel as if it is back some. I will not play games with my health anymore. I need to get my head out of the muddle and get back to living life again. I am sure it has had something to do with a year long broken tooth and infection setting in the jaw...I did get that taken care of, but now I need to maybe get back working part time.
This is one of the few times I have blogged so personally. I feel the need to unload this burden. I think sometimes we feel like if we talk about the problems we have that others will look down on us. I am fed up with judging others. I am getting some help finally instead of just 'putting up' with my problems. I am NOT ashamed to get help.
Anyway, I LOVE life and I love my Savior and family, but you know what? I still need to get back on track......